Some find it in everyday routines. Maybe it’s waking up early and getting a little time for yourself before the day is lost to handling all your other real responsibilities. Maybe it’s just making a little time at night to do what you want. Whatever it is, it’s something you do for yourself. Something that’s important to you but not necessarily to the rest of the world. When you’re doing it, it makes you feel like you’re living with a purpose. Everyone needs an it.
Some find it in the drive to work. It’s the only point during the day when your time is actually yours and the only voice in your ear is the artist you chose to listen to on the radio. Some may find it in a short meaningless chat with their other half just to reconnect after days of their lives passing between conversations. Some find it in the form of hobbies or passions. For some it’s their work, driven to succeed and reach their life long goals. Money and status is what it is for some. For others it may be as simple as sitting and pondering whatever their mind takes them to. It’s something we all need, that thing that helps us move from one day to the next. That thing you need, that thing you want. I have an it that I share with a few people I know. For some of us this it is the world according to fish and everything fishy... For some of us it, is the art of fishing for striped bass.
My mind wanders throughout the day. Always fish… Everything fish. My fiancée teases me when she catches me staring blindly into space as she talks. She’ll always say “You’re thinking about the fish again aren’t you?” I love her for that. It happens when I’m at work, maybe sitting in a meeting. My thoughts will drift from schedule and budget to trying to remember which part of the moon we’re on that day. I’ll wonder if the wind will shift or if maybe I should reconsider my evening plans. My mind take’s me to the beach, or even the contents of my surf bag. I wonder if my hooks were sharp enough the night before. I only got one hit and I know the fish was big. At least I think it was big. Doesn’t matter anyway, I’ll be sure they’re sharp tonight… My boss asks me a question and breaks my trance. My face flushes red and my co-worker smiles. He knows where I was.
It takes me to the most wonderful places on earth. Those places I go may only be in Rhode Island, but it is still the best place that I have ever been. It takes me up the bay to a river in mid spring. Every time I visit one of these old places it seems new again. These are the places where each visit is different, while still remaining the same as it has always been. The sweet smell of freshwater as it enters the head of a tidal pool. It’s a familiar smell and immediately makes me smile. The scent gives me a rush of energy and reminds me to focus. But as I begin to focus I also remind myself to never ignore everything else around me. It’s allowed me to grow eyes on the back of my head too. I’ve never actually seen anything with them, but they let me know when something’s there. It’s allowed me to hear the world, even the slightest of sounds amongst a collection of distractions. Through the noise of heavy water during strong spring ebbs, I can still hear fish gently rise. It’s definitely given me super human powers.
As the early summer approaches it takes me to the bay by boat. A calm clear morning at first light in late spring. The anticipation of what’s to come is enough to break me out of even the most stubborn of sleepy morning slumbers. Those long spring sunrises are the best of the year. They seem to stretch for days but if I focus too hard they can go by in an instant. I need to make a point to stop and soak it all in every once in a while. That part’s getting easier and for that I am thankful. I can find it in the smell of the exhaust from the cold, flooded outboard. It excites my senses. It makes me almost remember something from my past, but is more of a general nostalgia and not a specific one. Whatever the memory was it must be good because it never fails to make me feel happy. Coffee in one hand throttle in the other, it’s got me right where I want to be and that’s all that counts. It brings me to old spots and leads me to new ones. It has never let me down.
It allows me to find enjoyment in what others might consider a miserable. A storm front moving in after long week of summer heat. Plans are cancelled and evening picnics destroyed. As the world collapses for others, opportunities start to arise for me. The afternoon sunlight light dims and I can smell light rain as it steams off the hot pavement. I start to get the feeling. It starts to flood my mind with possibilities and I know it’s going to take me fishing tonight. A sudden change is good, sometimes even great. In an instant it will change a long stretch of slow summer fishing to incredible. It shouldn’t be missed. A strong southeasterly wind. My eye glasses don’t stand a chance tonight. I’ll have to leave them in the truck. It’s dark and misty. The visibility is so low, I can only see whitewater just ahead the beach break. No need to wade out tonight, they’ll come to me. If it doesn’t happen here it will somewhere else. Maybe I’ll go to that other place or maybe I’ll stay. Either way it’s OK. It’s gotten me to the place I want to be and that’s all that counts tonight.
It’s put me into trances standing on a dock at night. I stand over the water just staring, waiting to see if anything’s there. My gear is left in the truck because I only came to look. A little something swimming catches my eye. I stand there and look… and look… and look. A half an hour passes as my mind wanders with this little critter. I don’t even know what it is. There must be a million different species of little tiny swimmy things with no scientific name living in the waters I visit. Every time I go I see a new one. Maybe I’ll start naming them myself since no one else seems to pay them any mind. My foot falls to sleep and breaks this trance. Time to move on and find some bigger swimmy things.
It’s made me miss deadlines and forget to make calls. It gets me in trouble, but still I can’t ignore what it wants me to do. If focus is needed elsewhere I have to push hard to keep the urges at bay. It works slowly into my mind and makes me want to check here or there for fishy activity. Maybe I’ll go for only a minute and I won’t take my rods. Two hours later I come home feeling guilty like I’d done something wrong. It’s like an addiction... it may actually be one. Stripers Anonymous… anyone else?
It has changed my life forever and I like to think it’s for the better. It will always be with me and affect every choice I make. Sometimes I share it with friends, but they will never understand what it really means to me. It has taught me more about the world than anything else in my life. It teaches me the basic principles of life and has a new lesson in store for me everyday. Those lessons are only for me and can’t be explained to anyone else. I relate it to everything in my life and the world around me. It helps me understand. Rhythms and patterns, it all happens like clockwork. I can only wonder where it will take me tonight.
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